I can’t believe it. I was reading through some of my older blog posts from way back in April, and February and December last year when I was making some of the most important decisions for my year abroad. Now the time to leave is almost here. I have three more days left in my tiny, familiar hometown before I’m whisked away from my family, my friends, my boyfriend and every person I’ve ever spoken to on the bus or on the High Street.
It feels like I’m on a rollercoaster. There’s been a lot of narrow twists and turns and uncertainties about what direction I’m going in and whether or not I”m going to fall off altogether. Sometimes I’m going up and up and I’m so excited to reach the top. I’m excited to be living independently, meeting new people from different cultures, speaking different languages all day.
But then sometimes my rollercoaster takes a sudden dramatic lurch downwards and I feel that in the pit of my stomach. I am leaving everything behind; but in particular my boyfriend. He’s my best friend, we spend every day together, we have done for the last 4 years 4 months 30 days 9 hours 8 minutes 14 seconds… 15 seconds… 16 seconds….
That’s the only change that I can’t stand just now. Of course, logically I know that this will be fantastic for our relationship. We’ll skype and I’ll be able to share my adventures with him online and hopefully he’ll be visiting me too. But it’s still painful to say goodbye; when I get on my rollercoaster and it starts rolling away and he’s left standing on the platform as I climb higher and higher.
By the way, I hate rollercoasters. I’m always sick on them.